Thoughts From a Minister and a Parent
I love ministering on staff at Shady Oaks Baptist Church. I love our church. Besides being a minister, I am a parent and grandparent. It is not often that I get to write or speak as just a parent because I am usually in my ministry role. But today I am going to ask you to please allow me to go back and forth and speak from both of my roles…because both the minister and the parent in me have some things to say.
The Student Ministry vote on Sunday hurt both as a minister and as a parent. As a parent, it hurts because I have seen how Matthew Ball has discipled my child. My teen is excitedly reading his Bible at home and S.O.A.P.ing in preparation for Bible Studies on Wednesdays and Sundays. He is learning how to take what he reads in the Bible and teach it to his peers through devotions. He is standing in front of his peers and telling them what he is learning in the Bible. Isn’t that amazing?! Several of the teens are also learning how to go out and evangelize in the community…and then going out and doing it! Matthew has been discipling not only my child, but others. The changes have been beautiful to watch. The students are heartbroken by the vote, and so am I.
As a minister, I am also sad, because I can’t help but believe that Sunday’s vote indicates a lack of trust in the search committee, and the staff. I fully recognize that everyone has their own ideas and that God speaks to each of us. Voting differently from someone else is not a tragedy. Yet I feel uneasy about this one. I don’t know who voted no, but I wonder if those people asked questions of the committee, the staff, Matthew, students, or parents? If the choice was doubted, why not ask questions to find out why the committee believes so strongly that Matthew is God’s man for the job? I am also sad because I watched people exiting the worship center crying. Students came to me, crying and seeking comfort. I took phone calls from adults in our church who didn’t understand what happened and expressed dismay, grief, shock, and anger. In 24 short hours I heard several different rumors about what “someone” may have said or done. This is not what our church needs. This is not behavior becoming of a Christian. This breaks my heart.
I don’t know all the reasons why 48 people voted no, but I do know one reason that I heard several times. “He is only 20. That is too young and immature for this responsibility.” I have so many ways I could answer that concern, but I think I will simply share what happened on Sunday when Matthew learned of the vote results.
On Sunday, Carson and I waited with Matthew in the church office while the vote was counted. Richard brought the total to us to let us know. Matthew was visibly shaken and saddened by the results. We all prayed together for God’s wisdom and peace to reign in the situation and in the coming days and months. We asked for God to show Matthew what His will is. When we finished praying, Matthew had a question for us: Would we help him with how best to help the students process the vote. He wanted to help them learn from this situation that even when things don’t go as we expect, God is faithful and sovereign; that we can always trust in God’s plan. After talking it through, that young man set aside his disappointment and pain to go downstairs and minister to our students. How many people do you know that are told they aren’t going to get the job, then go right into the job space and DO the job? No drama. No gossip. No wailing and gnashing of teeth. I say that behavior is not the behavior of an immature young person. Maturity is not based solely on someone’s age but is demonstrated through their actions.
Regardless of how you voted, I want to ask something of you. Would you please pray for our student ministry, for Matthew Ball as he continues as our interim, for the search committee as they make decisions, and for the unity of the church? Shady Oaks is a wonderful church. God has a plan for us. Let’s unite to seek His face and follow His plan.